How to survive the festive season when it isn’t turning out quite how you want it to?

I have probably left it a bit late to write this blog post, but better late than never.

If you believe the popular Christmas song, right now you should be in the middle of “the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” Full of “parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting and caroling out in the snow”. Unfortunately not everyone experiences Christmas quite the way they show it in Hallmark movies.

For some people it reminds them of loss, bereavement and separation. Some people suffer from anxiety and all the social expectations just adds to their stress. Add to that that so many of us are feeling stressed by the sharp increased cost of living.

I have spent some time searching the internet for the best tips on how to not just survive the holiday season, but to actually thrive in it. I have adapted some of the best ones.

Make your gift list shorter – you don’t have to give gifts to absolutely everyone you know. Many people will be grateful not to have to reciprocate with gifts and will welcome the conversation about cutting back on gift giving. Consider organizing a gift exchange,often called a Secret Santa with your family and friends instead. Place a cap on the amount you will each spend on the gift. There is no point in starting the New Year in debt.

Not all the gifts you give have to be purchased. Get creative and make some of your gifts. You will find ideas on YouTube, Instagram or TikTik for such things as a handcrafted card, or for some homemade cookies for teachers, neighbors and friends.

Make sure to give some gifts to people who can’t give back. As it says in Luke 14:14 “Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” Make a donation in someone’s name. Donate to a food bank or a homeless shelter. Drop off these comfort crosses or hearts. at your local hospice, or place an order to be shipped directly to them. I can guarantee you that they will be very grateful.

Don’t over indulge – it is easy to over indulge with all the end of year parties and gatherings you have to attend, but eating too much food and drinking too much alcohol never makes anyone feel better. If you are feeling blue, you might think that alcohol will help you feel better, but in fact the opposite is true. Once the effects wear off, you will only feel worse.

Be kind yourself – if you are overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things you need to do, stop and take a breather. Sit down and enjoy a lovely hot drink. Let me suggest these Izra’el Zaatar herbal tea infusions on sale at HolyRoses.com. Feel the warmth of the cup and cherish the moment and let your troubles disappear. They are also good to warm yourself up, rather than turning your heating up a notch.

Don’t forget to look after your mental health in the busy run up to Christmas. It might be cold out and get dark earlier, but try to get out every day for some light exercise. According to Gretchen Rubin, the self-proclaimed Queen of Happiness, 23 is the magic number. She is challenging us all to go outside for 23 minutes each day in 2023 to boost our happiness.

Check in on someone you know who may be feeling lonely and isolated. When you help someone else, not only are you helping them, you are also helping yourself feel better. Don’t try to solve their problems, but listening and offering support (not advice) and letting them know you are there for them should hopefully make you both feel better.

Know your limits – If you are an introvert and would really prefer to be at home by yourself than at a party, give yourself permission to leave early. Whilst you are there, put your best face on and made an effort to be sociable. Once it gets too much and you start to feel drained and stressed out, give yourself permission to make your excuses and leave. Your true friends will understand. Spending time with family and friends can have a positive impact on our mental health, but it is just as important to know when to leave.

Admit it when you are not doing OK – it might not be easy especially at this supposedly happy time of year – but the first step towards feeling better, is sharing how you feel with a good friend or family member you trust and recognizing that “it is OK not to be OK” If you don’t have someone to confide in reach out to one of the organizations or helplines that offer emotional support and can point you to local mental health services.

Remember the True Meaning of Christmas – Christmas has become increasingly secular and it is easy to forget that it is not just about gift-giving and office parties. It is about the birth of Jesus and his message of love, hope and joy.

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